When the Aliens Arrive, I'll Want to Know all about Intelligent Life 08.25.08 Search

What do you do when the greatest minds admit to Alien Visitation?

Pam Stone

Dr. Edgar Mitchell, one of the finest astronauts and minds of all time, now publicly speaks of the reality of the alien presence. So what do we do now? Get another opinion? Invite the aliens to tea?

I have just read in the British paper, The Daily Mail, that Dr. Edgar Mitchell, aged 77, claims that aliens have contacted humans several times but governments have hidden the truth for 60 years.

Yes, well, I thought you might say that, so let me tell you exactly who this gentleman is: Dr. Mitchell was an Apollo 14 astronaut and along with his commander, Alan Shepard, holds the record for the longest ever moon walk, at nine hours and 17 minutes following their 1971 mission. He has a Bachelor of Science degree in aeronautical engineering and a Doctor of Science degree in Aeronautics and Astronautics. He is not one of those folks we see on local news programs claiming to have been abducted that look surprisingly similar to lottery winners.

Dr. Mitchell is quoted in the article as stating, “I happen to have been privileged enough to be in on the fact that we’ve been visited on this planet and the UFO phenomena is real. It’s been well covered up by all our governments for the last 60 years or so, but slowly it’s leaked out...I’ve been in military and intelligence circles, who know that beneath the surface of what has been public knowledge, yes-- we have been visited. It’s happening quite a bit.”

Can I just say that I would love to see a UFO? At least that’s what I say now, in the comfort of my home in broad daylight with both dogs nearby and Paul weeding the vegetable garden.

If I were in the barn in the dead of night, investigating a strange noise and saw an enormous, glowing aircraft landing in my field, firstly, I’d wonder if it had a bush-hog attachment to it and secondly, I’d hysterically call the dogs for protection. Not that an overweight Jack Russell can do a tremendous amount. I could, perhaps, throw Bonnie at any approaching aliens and that would give me time to make a get-away.

It’s a shame that I immediately imagine they would come to do me harm.

Dr. Mitchell rebuts this by saying that “our technology isn’t nearly as sophisticated as theirs” and “had they been hostile, we would have been gone by now.” That’s a bit chilling, thinking that our top fighter jets and missiles must look like a 1971 Volkswagen ‘Thing’ to them. How embarrassing. So, we must collectively approach any aliens we might encounter with overtures of kindness.

Which leads to several dilemmas: do you invite them for lunch? They’ve got those tiny mouths and all we have are 64-oz “Big Gulps” and massive Whoppers. You can’t even find a candy bar that isn’t emblazoned with “King Size!” on the wrapper. Do you suggest a Sunday drive? Would they be insulted if you suggested a booster seat? Would they roll their eyes and snicker at the sight of us pumping gas into the archaic technology that is the internal combustion engine of our Ford Explorer? Surely they would be agog at the snarls of traffic and the strip malls that garishly advertise “Chinese Buffet!” and “Mattress Warehouse!”

Perhaps this is why when we have heard from those who claim to have met our alien neighbors, they generally live in the middle of nowhere: a quiet farm surrounded by cornfields in Nebraska...a remote cabin in upstate New York...or about twenty minutes from where I live, out in horse country.

Now, I vowed that I would never reveal the exact place or name of who told me this, but it was an ordinary, level-headed, man that I know well. I said, “Let me know if you see it again-- I’ll drive over and we’ll see if they’ll talk to us.”

“Ha!” he replied. “What would you ask them?”

Well, that’s an easy one. If there is indeed intelligent life out there in the universe, could they please send some to us? I can barely stand watching television these days...

Pam StoneThe Author
Funny, fresh and versatile, Pam Stone stands head and shoulders above other commedienne. At six feet tall, the blonde haired actress, writer, comedienne can state that - literally. Height notwithstanding, however, her talents stand their own. Most people remember Pam for her role on the ABC-TV hit series "COACH." As women's basketball coach, 'Judy Watkins,' Pam conveyed a tough competitiveness, softened by an underlying femininity, in her ongoing feud with Craig T. Nelson's 'Coach Hayden.' This past February, Pam made a special re-appearance on the show. She was also seen guest starring in the ABC sitcom, "THE DREW CAREY SHOW."


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